This is what happens when you watch the British Heart Foundation’s hands-only CPR ad on YouTube with automatically transcribed captions.

Sound advice, Vinnie.

clipartcovers:

Hard Candy by Madonna. Original.

Requested by machotrouts.

My request, ladies and gentlemen

Admirable use of yoga clip-art

X FACTOR VS. NINE INCH NAILS: THE ALBUM

In the wake of your overwhelmingly favourable reaction to Leona Lewis’s cover of ‘Hurt’, we’ve gathered even more of your favourite finalists from popular ITV series The X Factor to offer their own interpretations of Nine Inch Nails’ biggest hits. Don’t miss out on this year’s essential Christmas gift!

TRACKLISTING:

1: Leona Lewis - Hurt

2: One Direction - Closer

3: Matt Cardle - The Hand That Feeds

4: Kitty Brucknell - March of the Pigs

5: Frankie Cocozza - The Perfect Drug

6: Jedward - Only

7: Joe McElderry - Big Man with a Gun

8: 2 Shoes - Survivalism

9: Chico - Sin

10: Same Difference - Starfuckers, Inc.

11: Diva Fever - Reptile

12: Steve Brookstein - Happiness in Slavery

13: Stacey Solomon - Fist Fuck

14: Wagner - Heresy

15: Johnny Robinson - Eraser/The Downward Spiral medley

16: Little Mix - Theme for Tetsuo: The Bullet Man (Jesy beatboxing solo)

HAPPY FOUR-WEEK HALLOWEENVERSARY

My army recruitment poster was not a success

I’ve finally filled the “Tumblr account dedicated to transcribing lyrics far too quickly” niche:

http://transcriptionconniptions.tumblr.com/

Thank you. You can buy me a meat cleaver.

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          fffffffffffffffffff                                                                                      

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO9OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODRFRTXRRRRR

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

00

000000

0

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

000000000000000000000000000001

1000000000100011111111111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000011111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUJ+IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII++U

é4c    

ój

@@@@?

 ukmjjjj                                                                                                                                                     ##################################################===================================================================================================================================================================================================================#===============#####################################################################################################################======================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================#=##########################################################################################################################################################################oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo###########################################################ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]/8uiiiii

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????[——————————————————,.

ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddzij\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\fvrri9gj5tygggggggggg9yg g49i  

100000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000dfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDFFFFFFFFFFp90000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))000000000000000000000000000hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………………………………………………………………………………

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

|za\ZZZZZZZZZZ12222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222

I’m simultaneously grateful and slightly disappointed I will never be taken seriously as an intimidating hardened killer.

Doing nothing with my hair for as long as possible and pretending it’s some kind of style

Same place as you: the internet

Also your house

MYSELF

Because I don’t know what happens when I post a photo yet

Edit: Apparently what happens is that it posts a photo

WHO KNEW

http://twitter.com/machotrouts

At least on Twitter, posting reams of shit nobody cares about takes up less space